Treatment sheet-next draft

After spending Fridays leson with Mr Dowson analysing my treatment sheet I need to make a few changes to it, mainly adding shot lengths and timings of the song to it

Music video treatment sheet shot by shot
2 characters in the Land Rover laughing and whistling whistled part	Duration: 10-15 seconds (before song starts)
Black screen, white writing, quote through the snare intro.   Quote is 'War does not determine who is right, only who is left'	Duration: 11 seconds (0:00-0:11)
2/3 characters in camoflage in the back of a blacked out Land Rover, checking weapons during the initial guitar part	Duration: 30 seconds (0:11-0:40) (cutting to and from)
Shot of guitarist playing initial guitar part	Duration: 30 seconds (0:11-0:40) (cutting to and from)
Characters kicking through door  and starting a CQB run of the building as the verse starts	Duration: 5 seconds (0:40-0:45)
Shot from in front of the soldiers, leading to close up showing their stone-faced expressions over the line 'all fear has been aborted'	Duration: 7 seconds (0:45-0:52)
Band shot of whole band playing	Duration: 6 seconds (0:52-0:58)
Shot of one of the soldiers executing or thereatening at gunpoint an enemy combatant, executing him just before the shot cuts	Duration: 11 seconds (0:58-1:09)
Shots of building being clared continued, more action type shots, other enemies shot, through to  the start of the second verse, cutting to and from band shots	Duration: 35 seconds (1:10-1:45) (split to 6x6 second shots)
Shots of would-be family, wife with daughter, during first few lines of second verse, skype call with soldier	Duration: 20 seconds (1:45-2:05)
Band shots of whole band playing and more shots of progressing through the building, shooting a few more targets	Duration: 15 seconds (2:05-2:20)
Characters seem to reach the objective, clear area, laptop set up, radio back to HQ, stop to talk, band playing behind objective	Duration: 30 seconds (2:20-2:50)
One of the main characters gets shot, other character chases then shoots the assailant, more band shots where the injured is visible in front of the band	Duration: 25 seconds (2:50-3:15)       5x5 seconds
Shot of remaining character going back to try and save the injured one, who mouths piano section and dies in his arms at 3:38	Duration: 20 seconds (3:15-3:38)
Remaining character in military best dress knocking on door of injured soldiers family, and her bursting into tears	Duration: 10 seconds (3:40-3:50)
Injured character dies in survivors arms                   [disintegrate effect] over the line 'I'm free'	Duration:  10 seconds (3:50-4:00)
Guitarist playing song on casket as it is lowered during funeral service, cutting to and from shots of wife, daughter, other soldier and others	Duration:  30 seconds (4:00-4:30)
Other character walking away from the funeral, wistling over the whistled part, looking back toward the ceremony	Duration: 20 seconds (4:30-4:50)